California

Yesterday I drove about 6 hours (a 7 hour drive ..oops) from Tucson.AZ to Orange, CA

I took I-8 for about 300 miles and I have to say it is an absolutly magnificant view ... I love the senery out here.

Along the drive I nearly ran out of gas ... fantastic (seriously I had like 10 miles left worth of gas) and this occured b/c I refused to buy gas when I first stopped assuming that there would be another gas station soon ... the gas was 2.45$ ... it was scary driving with nearly no gas like OMG there was NOTHING around if I needed help and the exits are like 10 miles apart ... I drove pst something called "Devils Drop" so I stopped and looked ... yea I wouldnt recoment anyone jump down that canyon/cliff.

When I finally got to my hotel (I saw he buildign but couldnt find where to pull in took me liek 15 minutes to actually get TO it) I had to race out and get to my interview which I arrived at the moment the clocked turned hehe the receptionist was liek thats good timing to me... I dont think I'll be getting that job the people didnt seem to like me much :( .. oh well it was a cool job as a biology assistant 1 working with animals

So my hotel is awesome it has a little kitchen unit and all so I can make food there instead of going out and spending lots I enjoy that alot ya know ... and it has the best bath tub ever!!! yeah I took a bath for like literally 2 hours came out looking like a people prune ... so well worth it :)

So today I'm going to LA for some interviews (not right now obviously but in like an hour)

I'm in a library atm and got my very own CA library card ...

Apparently there was jsut an earthquake too a moment ago ... it felt like when you are on a rollercoaster and just go down the first fall... I just thought someone pushed the computer desk but no everyone felt it ... so this will go down as my first survival of an earthquake ... honestly if anyone died I would be suprised ... I do wonder how it feels to be driving during an earchquake b/c liek the whole building moved would the cars move too??? that has to be scary ... well off to make some lunch and go to my last intervew ... woo hoo

oh and LA is great but super expensive (gas is 2.19-ish) and food is liek twice what I would pay back home

I think I don't want to move out here anymore I want to leave home but im not sure where jsut somewhere!!

Robin

So being here for the past week or so with my friend from grade school I realized that we have nothing in common at all...

its sad to think that we went all these years of being apart and then found each other that forging a friendship is so difficult ...

I can see it now that we were probably not meant to be friends forever just for the time being ...I've moved on with my life and she has moved on with hers...

I guess it just hurts to know that the first person you were best friends with is now merely a complete and total stranger...

I kinda feel bad for us but more so the lack of life she has ...

So by now we all know that I am in AZ visiting my friend and that I'll be here till March 11th ... isn't it grand

well in short not really ...

Yesterday was Lauras last day here before flying back to NJ (this is the mean girl I talked about earlier) yesterday were went to a town called Tombstone the town itself was really fun and exciting well ... I enjoyed myself ... but there were things that really bugged me ... for instance I told them I needed to eat (I'm diabetic I need food when I need it) around 1:30 we didn't eat until about 4:00 (we ordered before that but we had to wait for the food to get to the table) I was starting to get all sweaty and cold and dizzy and lightheaded it just wasnt at all good ... and Laura has the nerve to go "Do you really have to eat now?" Yes ass I do! Who the hell are you? Are you a doctor? Are you going to take me to the hospital when I go in shock? the answer to these questions are all NO so STFU!!!! anyway yeah the begining of our trip was also so exciting they decided that it would be awesome if they counted the times I say awesome in a day b/c apparently I say it way to much...the count was 124 in case you were wondering... and then they felt the need to comment on my accent which really isnt an accent from anywhere I say my vowels long so instead of phone its phOOne ...for awesome it goes AWEsome ..but like who cares you know what I'm saying so why make fun of it its not liek its any diffrent than anyone else ...its neglish and you understand it so STFU!!! the whole day I felt like I was an outsider and totally being held captive or something ... dont get me wrong I did enjoy myself I just cant stand when ppl gang up on me its quite aggrevating ...

on top of all of this Nicole decides that she wants to be with me forever and ever and no one else now (where did this sense of intensity come from??? ...no idea) She dumped her g/f for me and she wants to come to CA with me to start 'our family' she says that she will never leave me and will provide for me and our FIVE kids for life ... she really really scares me with this intensity ... she also was willing to fly out to CA to be with me tonight and so that tomorow we could make out at the zoo ... yes make out like 13 yr olds under the bleachers or something ... no Nicole I am almost 24 and I am not that immature and I can't just leave my life in the wind so YOU can have a family I dont want babies at this point in my life I'm not financially stabe or near anysense of stability ... I cant start a family and definitly not with a perosn liek you who will latch yourself to anyone who will give you the time of day ... I don't even see what I saw in you in the first place or why you have choosen me for that matter ... you need to do some soul searching and figure out what it is you want I think you just need someone to love you unconditionally and that can be a puppy for all intensive purposes if you want I would go to the shelter with you ...

lets see as for my thoughts and all well I am currently thinking that I am missing my life ... I feel as if I am living my life thru someone elses body I have no say and no one listens when I speak ... I want to be in control again to feel like life is worth living again I'm sick of this depression and sadness and lack of control ... Another thing I have been thinking about is the lack of love in my life ...I mena there is the crazy nicole but she isnt anything that I want to be with forever ... no I want someone who can see past the end of her nose and be in love with me not my uterus (oh and to add to nicoles wierdness she tells me to go find a guy and fuck him ..in those words exactly) ... anywho so yeah there is this girl Jackie that I have been talking to but I dunno if it is going to ever go anywhere shes really nice totally sarcastic blunt smart and speaks her mind definitly my type of girl (The not playing mindgamers..yea I love those ones) and we get along wonderfully but the thing is we only hung out a few times and she is interested I can see that its obvious her friends even tell me but like I dunno if I really LIKE her ... on paper if you were to list the pros and cons of this girl it would be 4:1 but for some reason I am like blocking myself from falling for her ...i'm seriously scared to be in love again after megan ... or maybe this all has to do with Nicole freaking me out again ... I dunno ... I just want to feel something I havnt been doing any feeling in the recent days ... oh and on valentines day from (2-13-09) 1130 to (2-14-09) 2:30 am I was having sex with my ex Joe (the moron who tried to cheat on me but I cuaght him before he did and had an excuse to end it....so I did) I was there from 9pm to 3 am the next day just to be clear ... so anyway the sex was absolutly empty and menaingless even afterwards I jsut go dressed and was like I gotta go and he was the one to be like no lets talk about this blah blah blah like is there something wrong with me??? why do I just not care ??? I just want my life back thats all I want ... I need to feel emotion soon or I might explode from this lack of humanity within

Ricky Martin

Last night Robin her friend Amber and I went to this bar called Reilys Irish Tavern ... it was pretty swell let me tell you ... haha no I really enjoyed it there

The 3 of us were sitting in the back at a table and this guy approaches us clearly drunk and starts flirting with us all haha it was funny at first then we all felt bad for him

He asked the three of us (yes 3) to marry him and I go ok but do we have to sleep in the same bed?? ya because I didnt want to at all lol ... poor guy ...

So yeah we all introduced ourselves and I go whats your name? he goes Ricky and I was like cool hi ricky and got thru the boring formalties of conversation the what do you do how old are you (which he said 35 but then negotiated down to 30 to make us more 'comfortable') all those ya know and then i forgot why but i asked him what his last name was and he goes MARTIN ... the 3 of us cracked up b.c it was fairly funny

At the begining of our encounter he was liek I'm gonna sing kareoke for you ladies and we were liek OK whatever pal ... he told us to pick for him so I told him to sing Livin' Lavida Loca by Ricky Martin and he was liek Oh that one of course ... he never sang the song for us tho he get up and drank another pitcher of beer and some shots and then we called a taxi for him ...

there was way more funny stuff but thats all I can remmeber the night was a total trip

Arizona

is gorgeuous ... yeah im enjoying it alot

i have more to say

So I arrived in AZ like an hour later than expected not to bad concidering ya know... my friend Robin and I went to a waffle house where neither of us got a waffle. Down here Waffle house is considered trucker food apparently...well its very good trucker food

The second day we were to drive to Sedona AZ with my friends friend Tammy and her friend luara who is also visiting ... Before leaving we ate at this awesome buffet type restuarant called sweet tomatoes (YUM) and then we were off on our grand adventure ... so the ride up was pretty amazing we had some good times in the car ... perhaps I'll post the video of out car trip and sedona or possible pics ... or not ... so anyway we stopped to watch the sun set and all which of course was beautiful ... when we arrived at our motel thing I wasnt feeling very well from my own stupidity as Karin well knows I need to eat when I begin feeling light headed and yucky ... I was really bad sweating and being freezing at the same time and then everything was spinning ..yeah I needed some sugar or food or something ASAP ... so we went to this mexican food place (we all know how much i love that *eye roll* but I ate there anyway got the only thing on the menu I could eat a thing with cheese in it .... it was a bit too cheesy so I scarped alot off it wasnt to bad then infact I liked it ... Tammy got this monster taco salad and Robin got ...sometihng lol I forget ... Laura got the same thing I did with veggies and complained the whole time about it ... ugh she did alot of that after that we went to a blues bar and played pool ... uneventful ... then it was bed time and apparently im a blanket hog and a midnight smacker ....




so time for the next day we go hiking !!! YAY I was excited about that and rightfully so it was awesome ... everyone had a good time except Laura who was very glum in the beginging and later revealed her dislike for my friend Robin and in fact she barely spoke to her friend Tammy I think I got along best with her ... go figure right ... Laura like refused to put money in for the hotel or gas money and that really pissed us all off other people had to put in her share ... she goes well I paid 200 bucks to fly out here I should have too ... well truth be told as did I and I didnt want to stay in a hotel at all ... anyway ... Laura wanted to see the sun rise so we got up at 6 am to do so it was well worth it ... after we had breakfatse the four of us climbed this rock called bell *something*(maybe rock????) that I dubbed boob rock ... it looked like a boob with hug nipples !!!!! we most definitly went up into areas that we werent supposed to (no trails) but it was ok at one point Laura and I went off on our own seperate way at which point she told me how she was having a better time and glad we went hiking ... a bit after she vented to me about some personal stuff and I understood her glum attitude but told her to enjoy what she has b/c what you want is not always possible its the small moments in life that you have and miss and later regret this being one of them ... she lightened up and was good until we got back with Robin and Tammy at which point she was ms cranky pants again ... as we were desencding boob rock Robin goes look no one fell not a moment later the poor girls ankle gives out and she just drops to the ground at which point Tammy her friend goes robin smile for the camera.... haha that was funny ... after the hike we went to an indian rest Lauras pick for lunch ... it was yummy of course and then we began our drive home ... ms grumpy pants was in the front not speaking at all and robin and I were in the back texting each other about what her adn I talked about when we went off on our own ... at some point I asked if I could drive and thankfully I was allowed Tammy was driving horribly and stressing me out ... She agreed I could drive up to the heart attack grill and then she would take over once more ... Tammys car needs a serious alighnment... anyway my navigator gave me some bad directions and we were slughtly lost but not to worry we found it ... once we got there Laura complained and so she made us feel bad so we didnt eat there instead we went to some place called the regal beagle (or beagle regak) apparently someone ate there in this show ... it was disgusting and just ewww... then we continued on back to tuscon nothing really eventful and went to bed ... before bed I watched Alvin and the Chipmunks lol it was cute and that is my trip to Sedona AZ and back from Tuscon AZ

oh and Sedona is quite possibly one of the most beautiful place I've ever had the privledge to view .....

Gay Roller Skating

Yeah so I went to this roller skating rink tonight and it was gay night ... sweet right?!? Heck yeah it was!

It was good times ... I fell once b/c this dude couldn't skate for shit and plowed into me on the curve part of the rink.

So yeah I was talking to this girl for like an hour ... a friggen hour... we exchange contact info and all that and then her gay guy friend comes up and says something to the effect of lesbians don't like female fag hags .... uuugggghhhhh dammit!

so then Jackie (Klondike) sends me a text and tells me how she got kicked out of her house for something completely retarded. ..I think we are going to start 'talking' again soon when I come back from CA. I dunno tho

LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea...'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?



Thanks Tulsi this is funny

Juicy Booty

So we all know those girls who wear shorts with words on their shorts (across their butts) that say "Sexy" or "Juicy" or whatever else. You know the girls that have a BILLBOARD on their ass and then get upset when you look at it.

First of all you have something written on your ass who isn't going to look at it? I mean seriously its human nature to at least take a glance! So why get all upset?!?

And another thing why have your assboard read "Juicy" or "Sexy" when you have a flat ass and you're anything BUT sexy!

Its false advertising!!!

Its like if I decided to get dressed up in a police uniform with the whole bit but when someone runs up to me screaming bloody murder I would have to say "Sorry ma'am I'm not really a police officer I'm just wearing the uniform"

ITS FALSE FUCKING ADVERTISING!!!!

The End

Officially Gangsta

zero: now your officially gangsta

Sweet so that give me free license to bust a knee cap and smack ppl with the BBE and NAR sticks


:) NICE!!!

Would you have sex with a boy?!?

Yes that one line is the highlight of my fairly adventurous day.

Lets start at the beginning and work our way down to that magical comment said by my current infatuation Jackie ( aka Klondike by which she will now be referred to as)

So from 2 am to 4am I was on the phone with people which sucked b/c I had to wake up at like 8:30 so I had like NO sleep whatsoever. Woke up at 8:30 by my annoying alarm which apparently I didn't turn off properly and went off again while I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, so the dog decides to howl (yes howl) at the alarm. It was kinda cute actually hehe. Ok so then I'm like dude I bet Karin is still asleep so I sent her a text. which of course she didn't respond to (bitch). The creepy wierdo that I am of course called her house number and then found out that her cell phone is broken. so yeah that was awesome ... after she switched to a new one I began my journey and she hers.

So there we are me the car and the (not so) open road. I inputted the address into my GPS and was off ... so yeah if you know me you know I like my guns (yeah I was packing some) so when my GPS sent me off into NJ I was a little uncomfortable but I slowed down (to the speed limit) and went until I crossed over in PA again. Which totally sucked b.c it was the first 5 min of driving in PA then an hour in NJ then 5 min in PA again ... so by my count thats like 8 felonies for driving ...so then i finally get there and apparently its a residential area??? for the mall???? no way!!! so I reset my GPS and it says 3 miles from the mall so I was like AGGHHH GRRR and turned around to get to it... which totally totally sucked b.c I had to pee like a MOFO ... so after like a 15 minutes ride (to go somewhere 3 miles away) I was finally at the stupid mall ... yeah i walked around that mall for I dont know how long looking for the bathroom ... didnt find it AGGGGHHHH ... so I go sit in my car and tell that feeling to go away (and successfully do so) then finally Karin and John show up at which time I narrowly miss hitting karin with my car for being so dam late ... and can you believe Karin walks into the mall and finds the BR like no ones business ...well if I asked the guy at the table I woulda found it too but thats to easy. So we all go to use the BR but wheres John?!? oh he was swallowed by the toilet gods but they spit him out and yea its all good he survived. so on the way out Karin wants to look at the puppies ... I still want the husky not he boy but the girl (what did youexpect) ... then we leave to go the Palmer Diner I was the navigator (Karin follewed me to the diner) yeah well I almost missed a stop sign and she nearly hit my car (didnt think I saw that did you ...did you!!!!) anyway the waitress propably thought we were on drugs and all but its all good my home fries where nasty and the egg was kinda tough but whatever its diner food ... so then we leave and Karin is an asshole with that song ... yeah so we were awesome and acted like gangsta in the parking lot blasting our radios and smoking cigs ... haha not really but serioulsy ... then we departed and I realized oh shit i need to pee!!!! so I attempted to stop like 10 times but there was no bathroom at the 'rest stop' and the 2 exits I got off of were vacant of life grrrr so i drive for another like 20 min and finally get to a place with a bathroom ... and the guy is yelling at me from behind the door about how i cant use the bathroom unless I buy something so I assured him I would once I got out since I wasnt about to stop peeing for this dude ... once I got out of the bathroom I totally left without buying anything HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH ... ok so yeah I was gonna stop home but I was going to hang out with Klondike so I went straight into the city

So it took me like 45 min to find her b/c I couldnt find a single parking space and when I finally did I was chased away by parking authority ... oh well so yeah finally found a spot and met up with her at the star bucks (EEEEEEWWWWW) so yeah then we were off to 'the Wok' I was excited to go b.c its authentic take off your shoes and sit on the floor japanese ...but no they were closed not opened until 5 (it was 3:45) so GRRRRRRRR ... instead I took her to my favorite restuarant in Philly which is Mamas vegitarian. She complained about 'us vegitarians' at which point i reassured her I eat meat just not alot of it.... ok so we got the restuarant and she looked cross eyed at the stuff so I ordered for her (which she loved ...of course) anyway after that we went to the candy store b/c it was right there and I'm diabetic ...she was torturing me ... so we spent like an hour walking around this store that is no joke about 30 FEET by 60 FEET ..yeah we talked about almost every food item in the store ... so anyway she got aobut 20 bucks worth of candy and I spent 3 on some nuts.... so she still wants to get a gag gift for her friend so I of course offer walking to the local porn store at which time she told me we had to go to the Forum (an adult themed movie theature... b/c apparently it would be cool to say you went to the movies and watched a porn .. have to admit it does sounbd kinda cool... so yeah we go into the store and look around ... she gets the hint that I'm kinky altho I'm not really whatever ... so yea so we find some super old used porns on VHS and go to check out while in line theres a black dude standing behind us who we bothignore but Klondike was like making these aweful jokes about the fat guys behind the counter and the face the one was making ...the black guy was cracking up ...have to admit it was funny ... so then she starts talking to the black guy now impaying attention and apparently this guy was shy as hell ... what kind of a shy person goes to a porno store to watch porn in a booth and is shy??? like seriouslt wouldnt you buy your porn then take it home ... anyway yeah so she def tells him how shes gay and then he gets all excited looking in his eyes (eww no) and so then hes like yeah i like lesbians and I was like yeah I'm like her boys are icky and then hes like so ya'll together and I was like if you want us to be and then walk away after like a few minutes she says (fairly loud) Whould you have sex with a boy?!? at which point I swear if he wasn't black he would have blushed and then walked away out of embarresment ...I walked over next to her and then he came back and was like trying to be gangsta tough guy about stuff (total sign that hes probably thoguht aboutit or HAS done it) so yeah then we left (I swear it took us like a half hour to check out) anyway then it was time to go home so I was like yeah my car is off of snoopys birds block (woodstock rd) ... yea well we totally couldnt find it .. and we walked around the block about 9483567384568346587534 times before finding the car... so i dropped her off at the train station and went home ... end of the day?? HA not so much

So when i get home my friend Becca was like lets go out to eat so we went to nifty fifties ... and we go spicy chicken nuggets fries and a milk shake ... the fries were NASTY but the milkshake was awesome ... yeah and thats all I have to say about her ... then I cam home and nicole IMed me SHOCKING here is a taste of her stupidity ..like how cna you not tell im NOT interested (and yes I altered the SN)

Nicky: yo whats up

Me: nm I was like 10 min from Windgap today at the Palmer Park mall

Nicky: so why didn't u let me know

Me: I assumed you were at work

Nicky: what were u doing there

Me: it was from 11am to 1 pm

Nicky: yeah i was in work

Me: I was meeting my friend I was at her house like forever ago and left my coat there a so we met half way and that happened to be easton

Nicky: damn that sux

Me: yeah ...

Me: my friend told me her car almost blew over in wind gap

Me: it was so windy

Nicky: you shoulda called i woulda left work

Nicky: yeah i was in wind gap today it is windy

Me: sorry ... I just didn't think that you would like to be called when at work ya know

Nicky: i woulda loved to be called give me an excuse to get outta there

Me:sorry ... next time I'm up there to visit my friend I'll call you outta work

Nicky: when u comin to visit me

Me: ugh... i dunno ... next time I can grab my friends couch

Nicky: u can grab my bed haha

Me: haha yeah....

Nicky: yeah so why dont ya

Nicky: then i can do ya right

Me: ya umm.... red rivers are flowing

Nicky: eww say no more

Me: and also I dunno if I just wanna meet up JUST to have sex thats just not ...my thing

Nicky: that takes the fun out of it

Nicky: i have a girl i just wanna fuck you

Me: .... ok

Nicky: so when u comin

Me: hmm ...

Nicky: im getting u out here again soon

and then she continued to try and convince me to come out to her ..haha nope... then I went invisible and finished writing this blog ... woah have fun reading.... I expect lots of comments b.c its like super long you have to have at least 2 comments

Moving Out

so yeah I am getting sick of living in this house of unhappiness

I went online (craigslist.com) and saw a room for rent in fact here is the ad :

ROOM FOR RENT, in my 3 bedroom single level house in Bristol Township-Croydon
Acres near the intersection of Route 13 and Route 413.
The bedroom is fully furnished, the house has central heat/air, washer/dryer,
cable in all rooms, a big back yard and a storage shed.
I am walking distance to bus and R7 line, and less than 3 miles to the PA
Turnpike and I-95.
Rent is $400 + 1/3 of utilities.
No smoking inside the house, but there are fully covered patios both in front
and back. Must have proof of income.
Email me off-list at ladyinatoolbelt@... if you are interested
Lois



I guess the e-mail should have tipped me off but yeah Lois is a lesbian (score a gay landlord!)

so yeah apparently I could have been her kid b/c she is also Jewish and Conservative (yeah and I got her to join u4prez...lol) and basically it was odd as hell but it looks like a good deal. I'm hoping I can move in to get out of this miserable house of my mothers.

The question of yesterday

So I was hanging out with my friend Joey and we were arguing about what a chicken 'leg" was

he said it was the thigh I said the drumstick

So b/c I'm an asshole we went searching for a poultry butcher in our area to get the actual truth about what a chicken leg was

so we went to the nearest butcher and asked

apparently the chicken leg is a combination of the thigh AND the drumstick.

Other than that yeah nothing

ooooh so I' kinda sorta seeing this girl ... we are like the same people we even have the same name ... but shes 20 and I'm 23 but she could drink me under the table in like 3 shots

UGH

So I finally get the balls to tell Nicole off and she still ... UGH

OK so I told her like last week to shut her up I would go hang out with her never intentionally planning on doing so ...

So yeah for the past week she has IMed me (when I am invisible) trying to get my attention ... yeah so ignoring and blocking is not enough for this girl apparently.

So yeah but anyway I helped set her up with my friend they are now dating ... and I should get some peace from her right???? apparently not she still wants me to come down and see her ...


wtf is so special about me that it has to be me?

She tells me she has to get offline b/c her g.f (the one I set her up with) wants to lay in bed and that is where she was IMing me from ... so all I have to say is she has no respect for anyone

Last Night

My mom comes into my room (no knock just throws the door open) and goes (in an almsot scream like voice "Are you going to apologize to me?" to which I replied "apologize for what?!?" and she goes "flying outta here and being rude" at which I snickered to myself about ... so then we got in this whole argument/fight about how my life effects her image (LMAO ummm no it doesn't) and then she tells me how on Saturday she made plans for me to hang out with my friend Dan and a date on Sunday. She thinks that if I spend more time with boys I'll be cured ?!? haha nice. Most of my friends ARE boys lol. Nope it wont work. So anyway today my mom decided it was bonding time ... we went to the supermarket and all that jazz and @ 5:00 I go to hang out with Dan. Thats all I'll add more later sitting next to her watching 'womenly television' HAHAHHAHAHAHA

wtf

so I seriously if you have to make yourself dinner before going over to someones house for 'diner' that should speak volumes on said persons cooking skills.

So yeah thats my grandpops cooking skills HORRIBLE ... But I went over there anyway ... Poor guy has no one to talk to all day.

So he gave me a list of shit to buy him b/c he is afraid to leave his house because its so cold.

The list if I remember right (and I hope I do b/c I for sure didn't write it down)
Carton of Marlboro Box cigarettes (2)
Bumble Bee Canned Tuna in oil (2)
Redi Whip
Bandaids
Chicken Breast w/ skin
Rise Krispies
Corn Flakes
Scotch Brite Pads
and a rich widow (yes he really told me that)

So I went to get the cigarettes ...can you believe that shit is $90.16 ... who the hell can afford that??? And why would you want to???

I'm so glad the only thing I waste money on is guns and ammo because that stuff is needed :)

so today

so today I woke up to "woof woof woof aarrrrroooo woof" at 9:06 am after falling asleep around 1:30 am (Karin help me out when did I fall asleep??) anyway it wasn't a nice way to wake up.
So I woke up and watched a few of the shows I had taped on DVR from last week. Nothing spectacular but whatever after that I went to the gym ... that totally sucked ..obviously ... so I was there for like 1.25 hours while I was there this guy was sitting on a piece of equipment and these tw other guys come up to himand start on him ... it was kinda funny cause he kept saying "Nah Nah G I been using this jon right hur it sucks I aint just be sitting" and I was thinking what are we in the gheeto??? this is Langhorne PA!!! lol whatever I went home and my brother was using the shower that asshole ... had to wait like 20 min to finally get one... I think that was the time I called Karin and spent like 6 min not talking (nor did she) during our 7 min and 30ish seconds conversation. Yeah we talked alot I think my minutes are up now ... So yeah then I went to take a shower and it was fannnnnntastic ... only not really b/c I still felt like shit ...like really weak and the pain in my side was really really really hurting ... I was told to stop by my doctors office to get the results of an ultra sound so im expecting bad news usually they tell me over the phone. yeah so like after this shower I was sooooo weak feeling I just laid in my bed for a while ... so yeah walking around naked is awesome ...kind of liberating ... altho it would have been better if my stupid cat wasnt trying to sit on top of me ... so nayway after I decided laying in bed naked was retarded I got dressed cause I had a lot of shit to do ... I went to the 7-11 to make photo copies adn can you believe the mother f-ers no longer do that shit ... so I as stuck going to the library ..those butts charge 20 cents a copy... so yeah I had to make photo copies of the termination of my halth coverage FROM AUGUST b.c the f-ers send me letters every month saying I owe them money ... I send them letters back saying how i canceled it ... I even have the cancelation confirmation wtf is wrong with these morons??? anyway I sent them a nasty letter hopefully the will remove me from thier systems ... this time... I went to the shooting range it was awesome some dude in the booth next to me kept coming over to me saying how awesome i was shooting then asked for my number ... I told him I was gay and he goes the more the merrier right?!? I gave him a dirty look and left to tell the range officer he was harrasing me and they moved him into another bay haha asshole!!!1 yeah and when I got home my stepdad told me I had to apologize to my mother for my 'nasty' e-mail and for everything else... hahahhahaahahha NO ..anyway thats all today wasnt good nor bad just whatever ... :) oh wait my mom is calling me uuuggghhh oooohhh

haha she jsut wanted to have a civilized conversation with me ... she still hates me but its cool ... on Feb 18th im outta here!!! and I always have Karin to talk to no matter what b/c shes awesome

I just wanna die

I really really really can't live like this anymore... its just so fucking hard.

Its like every passing day is a constant reminder of how miserable I have become.

Its like one day everything is fine and then you grow up and it all goes to shit.

Why is being who you are so horrible?

Its not like I've committed a crime or become an out of control drug addict/alcoholic.

so today as soon as I got home there of course was a note for me which read:
"
Jacquelyn

As soon as you see this call me. We are now going back on chores and if you don't do something one time you have no more chances you will start paying rent. You wanna be tough and run away well now you can take the responsibilities that go along with it. am not helping you out anymore you are on your own to pay bills and manage your own priorities. Don't think I am helping you with your taxes, figure it out on your own or go to H&R block. I set you up for a date on Sunday with a woman I work with son his name is James. You better go and be nice to him. Empty the dishwasher and fill it. Dust and vacuum. Oh and the cat threw up on your bed again you better clean that up.

Mom"

Real nice ..this is why I don't want to be home!

You would think Ive done some horrible thing but no I just asked her to accept who I am. On top of this Nicole with the phone calls, text, and IM's all day... She goes in the one text I know you went home and you're passing by stop by my bed is empty (I ignored all the calls text and IMs) ..WTF is there like no way I can have a normal relationship with someone who isn't a total fuckwad? Am I that horrible that no one wants to be with me? Seriously whats wrong with me? Perhaps I just have this inate ability to turn every human being I meet off wihout knowing it. There must be something wrong with my personality ... or maybe I'm just that nasty looking that noone wants to be with me ...

Why I hated HS

So the kids miss pronounced my last name all the time I was Rolfeee, Roof Roof, Roofie, and an assortment of other names ... I was also called Oinker

So about 3 yrs after HS I was walking into a store and 2 people who apparently went to HS with me (but I have no recollection of) followed me into the store oinking and barking at me. Once I got into the store the taller one said to the shorter one "Dude maybe shes gotten so fat its stuck in her ears so she can't hear us anymore"

Then there was this one time in like the 9th grade during field day someone threw some water on me and yells "she finally took a shower!!" ...cause apparently I don't shower?????

the the one time this girl spent every (school) day to tell me how she was going to kick my ass so this one day i had enough and stood up and screamed real load "not if kick your ass first" she runs down to the principles office and tells on me like a little snitch... I told them how she had been picking on me FOREVER and they brushed it off like I was insane ..the teacher knew about it and wouldnt even defend me ... I was suspended for 10 days which turned into 23 days b.c the school shrink said I was a mental case and had to be cleared by a doctor

Another time when this gril Devita went around telling everyone I was gay ( at the time I was still in the closet) to hide the fact that she herself was a lesbian ... by diverting attention... needless to say we got in alot of fights ... she and I went to the principals office like ever other day to the point where we were told if we were there ever again we would both be expelled

Another time when I was in 7th grade this one kid Phil Moore told everyone I had a crush on him (I didn't I despised and loathed him) so he would write me 'love letters' in english to get me to say sometihng embarresing back and then plastered them all over the school ... which reminds me of the same yr when Luara Shultz and I were in Biology and she was trying to convince me to tell her I loved her basically in notes... never happened

There is more fucked up shit like how they used to trip me down te stairs and shit but whatever I hate HS I think it should burn in hell ... people often wonder why some kids snap and do things like Comumbine and the answer lies in how these kids were treated... they were victims that whenever they seeked help were discarded or ignored ... we all have feelings just b.c we aren't as 'cool' as you want us to be doesnt mean that gives you the right to treat us like shit ... where are most of my former classmates now??? lets see working shitty jobs b/c the couldnt or wont go to college, with 10+ kids and living off of welfare, living at home with no job (nothing), or just stuck somewhere in a dirty hole... they may have voted me least likely to succeed but where am I now??? I'm in med school!!!

a better idea ..maybe????

Since Nicole insist on communicating with me (I blocked her now 5 times on AIM and she just keeps on making new SN and IMing me)

I think I should fuck with her get her all hot and bothered and then pull the rug right out from under her ...

Bitch wants to 'do me in a movie theater" and she wants to tie me up in the car (I wouldnt mind that part but not her!!!!)

really?

So Nicole is telling me that "You cant get free sex from me" ...well who was asking for it? and from you?!? No sorry Hun just no

I got a nasty e-mail from my mom yesterday and replied she still never replied but I know she read it ..it just sickens me that she hates me so much for such a stupid thing... whatever

Everyone around here is in a bad or pissy mood today ... whats going on?!? I thought we got rid of the annoyance in the house??? maybe not... and then my friend Robin down in AZ keeps sending me text about how she is depressed and shit I feel bad for her but I dont know what to do for her ... I do need to think of some really awesome things to do in AZ b/c she claims there is nothing to do there and I am determined to prover her wrong

I'm in the mood for lots of candy and junk food ... I def need some altho I already had (junkfod wise) like 6 cookies, an ice, and a take 5 bar I'm still in the mood for junk food ...like I have a bottomless pit for a stomach but its only craving junk food ...

i dunno what else to put here so I'm just gonna end it here and continue to think about junk food

annnndddd its OOOUUUTTTAAA here!!!!

yeah so last night Satan was sent packing. The level of stress dropped the moment she walked out the door. I feel bad for John now b.c he is probably a bit upset about the whole thing but what he did with letting her go was definitely needed. Hopefully Satan will get the help she needs and the attention she craves while John is here building up the broken pieces of his life. He for sure has support here in PA more so than in CT.

So yeah of course you want to know the story. It basically started over Neopets. Everyone was in the living room on neopets.com building a guild or whatever. Satan was determined to prove she had had a neopet account for years so she went into her room to log on but the e-mail address she had wasn't working so she asked John to help her. Apparently her e-mail she used to sign on was Kitty@yahoo.com which we all know is not possible there HAD to be some numbers or something along with that.she basically wouldnt let John help her so he left the room and told everyone in the living room what an imature idiot she was. So she comes out SCREAMING like a banchie about how she never talks shit about anyone (please bitch really? no you do ALL the time) and we all were like just go in your room and shush. Of course this girl is NEVER quiet instead she sits in her room for a good 20 minutes screaming. Not just AGGGHHHH its like actua things you would say to a person so I went in after listening to this BS and asked in a nice calm manner "who are you talking too?" This shut her up long enough for me o close the door then she bagan screaming again so I opened the door and screamed back I told her that she doesnt try to get help shes just a welfare rat (I have to admit that was kinda harsh but she needed to hear it) and then slammed the door, to which she screamed that I was treating her like a dog and shouldnt slam doors so Karin came in and started telling her how she slams doors eery 3 seconds so whast the diffrence and that everyone in the house has tried to help her but no one can handle her the way she is. At which point Karin then told her to pack her bags shes going back to CT, thinking she was not serious Sarah just sat in the room so I came in and told her no for real pack your shit youre going home. she bagan screaming about having no where to go and how she left everything behind for John and how he doesnt/never cared about her. The thing is its over we had been telling her for how long to relax and take a chill pill stop the screaming and annoying people but she for whatever reason just wouldnt and OMG the lies this irl told soooo annoying. Anyway Karin and I couldnt get her to calm down and begin packing so Nicole (Karins friend?) went in there and was like My 5 yr old acts better than you are right now and some other stuff but actually got her to stop screaming and crying and to pack her stuff up. once she was finanly packed John searched her bags to see if she took any of his things and then we were ready to go. I babysat her while while Karin showed Nicole how to get to 590. When she finally got back it was time to put Satan in the car. Karin had me put the child safety locks which of course I did and then took her outside. She like stopped in the middle of walking and started screaming so Karin runs outside and tells her to shut up b.c the neighbors can hear and if the cop come shes going to kill her so she shuts up and continues walking to the car. I think she wanted to say one more thing to me but when she couldnt open the door she turned back and gave me a nasty ass stare that would scare demons. That was the last time I saw Satan and I wont be missing her. John and Mike drove her to CT and didnt come back until apparently 530 the next morning.

Its slightly concerning the whole thing started over neopets