Saturday, July 11, 2009

frustrations

So I am sooooo beyond frustrated these days...

I have no privacy anymore ... well its kinda my fault b/c my computers are great at getting viruses (and NO i dont look at porn!) so I've been using my moms which is sitting on the kitchen table and everyone always has to come over and be like what are you looking at? and then precedes to read whatever im reading or typing... like waht if I was having cyber sex I want privacy dam it!!! Not that I do but yeah.. I just want my computers back :( I miss them and being able to go online without having to ask if its ok to do so

also im totally confused with women ... so I go out with this girl we have an ok time (she said she had a "great" time..I think she exagerated that a bit) and then she e-mails me a day or so later and wants to hang out with a group of friends??? whats that supposed to mean exactly? so she liked me enough to be a friend and nothing more? thats fine but quit fucking with my head... in addition she makes her facebook status say something along the lines of how she enjoyed her day in Philly with strangers (she calls me a stranger.... technically I am we barely know much about each other) ... so yeah wtf??? I think im just giving up on her period ... I always have the nazi if I want to get laid

oh and speaking of the nazi her brother and mother are a fucking piece of work for real! So her brother always talks about how I am fat and ugly ... not gonna lie I'm over weight but hes like MORE overweight than I ever was!!!! and I guess I'm ugly it seems to be a concencus across the board so thats fine I cna live with it .... but dude has NEVER had a conversation with me adn thinks that my personality is determined by my weight?? no way asshole get a life ... oh and he claims that is ok for men to be overweight but women that are overweight are disgusting ... and then he tells his sister that when he gets married he is going to beat his wife b./c she has to "obey him" what an asshole now I know why he has been single every day of his 23 yrs of life! and then there is her mother who met me ONCE and I said all of about 2 sentances to her which were like hello how are you I'm a friend of Katies from Sesame Place ... and apparently that was offensive??? please where???? that was the first time I met her the second time I went to her house the Katie goes into the kitchen i follow and her mother looks at me and turns to katie and goes Katie not tonight we cat have company over she has to go home ... I didnt even say a word at that point so I start to walk out and her mom is following us adn I turn to Katie and go well you're WELCOME to come to my house and her mom glares at me .... fucking bitch ... and then later that night katies other freind Aleksy comes over and her mom claws at him according to Katie... of so anyway after I left her house the second time her brother was saying shit about how I was fat and ugle and someone should lynch me Katie stuck up for me ... a nazi standing up for a jew who woulda thunk it? and then there is the question why am I hanging around with the nazi? I don't know im still confused by it ...really I am but I really feel more comfortable with her than with many other people ...like I could be myself or something and she doesnt mind all my quirks and faults she likes and accepts them ... or maybe we are bothe beyond fucked up??? I dunno someone explain ifyou can

and then I got my new car a ford escape 2009 its amazing I love it and wouldnt trade it for the world... well maybe in 10 yrs I will trade it but I'm so happy with it right this moment

lets see what else is on my mind... I have a therapist I see 2x a month and she thinks im precognative (psychic) which kinda scares me b.c like well arent I seeing you so I wont go crazy I think you might be crazy how is that going to help me??? and also she talks to Lunesta on like a daily basis and thats not good b.c lunesta is fucking nutso herself and is prob told all of what I say ... anyway I have to goto work booooo

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