iruewgheefuhyew (thats a scream)

why is it that ppl only ever hate me or like me only as a friend??? what the heck??? really

I was told today that "Your personality makes you hot but I can't date you" well WTF?!?

Am I really that undatable???

I got this guy Zach up my butt about going out with him but I dunno if I really want to do that normal kind of relationship thing anymore ...wow that sounds dumb maybe???

And apparently the last 3 girls I like are apparently ugly??? really??? I didn't think they were!!! whatever you ppl are all blow holes

and also today I went to get my physical exam for the border patrol test and it wasnt the most comfortable thing ... I got there and had to wait forever until they called me back I did te eye test and hearing and all the other test they made me do ... then they wanted me to take my clothes (shirt and bra) off for an EKG ... and I wasnt a super huge fan of that at all ... so I took it off and put this gown thing on w/ the opening in the front ... it totally wasnt big enough and my boobs were totally popping out almost ...the sides were viewable for sure ... and of course they had me walk around the office to another room for the exam sothe woman is applying these sticky things on my legs arms and chest and comments on my "perky" boobs ... really?!? really?!? don't you have a job to do or something?!? stop looking at my boobs!!! thats about all I have to say about that oh and I am totally officially under 200 pounds so in total in the last 9-10 months I lost 64 pounds ... thats alot of fat omg im glad its gone ... some ppl say they cant notice tho and that hurts my feelings for real.... and I can do 8 push ups in 60 seconds how s that for pathetic!

wow so thats like my 3rd blog for the day I think ...

oh and tomorow I am going to work for the first time in like forever ...im excited and scared all at the same time ... I have to be in at noon oh joy ... or not really that means my supervisors will be around longer grrr