Lets start at the beginning and work our way down to that magical comment said by my current infatuation Jackie ( aka Klondike by which she will now be referred to as)
So from 2 am to 4am I was on the phone with people which sucked b/c I had to wake up at like 8:30 so I had like NO sleep whatsoever. Woke up at 8:30 by my annoying alarm which apparently I didn't turn off properly and went off again while I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, so the dog decides to howl (yes howl) at the alarm. It was kinda cute actually hehe. Ok so then I'm like dude I bet Karin is still asleep so I sent her a text. which of course she didn't respond to (bitch). The creepy wierdo that I am of course called her house number and then found out that her cell phone is broken. so yeah that was awesome ... after she switched to a new one I began my journey and she hers.
So there we are me the car and the (not so) open road. I inputted the address into my GPS and was off ... so yeah if you know me you know I like my guns (yeah I was packing some) so when my GPS sent me off into NJ I was a little uncomfortable but I slowed down (to the speed limit) and went until I crossed over in PA again. Which totally sucked b.c it was the first 5 min of driving in PA then an hour in NJ then 5 min in PA again ... so by my count thats like 8 felonies for driving ...so then i finally get there and apparently its a residential area??? for the mall???? no way!!! so I reset my GPS and it says 3 miles from the mall so I was like AGGHHH GRRR and turned around to get to it... which totally totally sucked b.c I had to pee like a MOFO ... so after like a 15 minutes ride (to go somewhere 3 miles away) I was finally at the stupid mall ... yeah i walked around that mall for I dont know how long looking for the bathroom ... didnt find it AGGGGHHHH ... so I go sit in my car and tell that feeling to go away (and successfully do so) then finally Karin and John show up at which time I narrowly miss hitting karin with my car for being so dam late ... and can you believe Karin walks into the mall and finds the BR like no ones business ...well if I asked the guy at the table I woulda found it too but thats to easy. So we all go to use the BR but wheres John?!? oh he was swallowed by the toilet gods but they spit him out and yea its all good he survived. so on the way out Karin wants to look at the puppies ... I still want the husky not he boy but the girl (what did youexpect) ... then we leave to go the Palmer Diner I was the navigator (Karin follewed me to the diner) yeah well I almost missed a stop sign and she nearly hit my car (didnt think I saw that did you ...did you!!!!) anyway the waitress propably thought we were on drugs and all but its all good my home fries where nasty and the egg was kinda tough but whatever its diner food ... so then we leave and Karin is an asshole with that song ... yeah so we were awesome and acted like gangsta in the parking lot blasting our radios and smoking cigs ... haha not really but serioulsy ... then we departed and I realized oh shit i need to pee!!!! so I attempted to stop like 10 times but there was no bathroom at the 'rest stop' and the 2 exits I got off of were vacant of life grrrr so i drive for another like 20 min and finally get to a place with a bathroom ... and the guy is yelling at me from behind the door about how i cant use the bathroom unless I buy something so I assured him I would once I got out since I wasnt about to stop peeing for this dude ... once I got out of the bathroom I totally left without buying anything HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH ... ok so yeah I was gonna stop home but I was going to hang out with Klondike so I went straight into the city
So it took me like 45 min to find her b/c I couldnt find a single parking space and when I finally did I was chased away by parking authority ... oh well so yeah finally found a spot and met up with her at the star bucks (EEEEEEWWWWW) so yeah then we were off to 'the Wok' I was excited to go b.c its authentic take off your shoes and sit on the floor japanese ...but no they were closed not opened until 5 (it was 3:45) so GRRRRRRRR ... instead I took her to my favorite restuarant in Philly which is Mamas vegitarian. She complained about 'us vegitarians' at which point i reassured her I eat meat just not alot of it.... ok so we got the restuarant and she looked cross eyed at the stuff so I ordered for her (which she loved ...of course) anyway after that we went to the candy store b/c it was right there and I'm diabetic ...she was torturing me ... so we spent like an hour walking around this store that is no joke about 30 FEET by 60 FEET ..yeah we talked about almost every food item in the store ... so anyway she got aobut 20 bucks worth of candy and I spent 3 on some nuts.... so she still wants to get a gag gift for her friend so I of course offer walking to the local porn store at which time she told me we had to go to the Forum (an adult themed movie theature... b/c apparently it would be cool to say you went to the movies and watched a porn .. have to admit it does sounbd kinda cool... so yeah we go into the store and look around ... she gets the hint that I'm kinky altho I'm not really whatever ... so yea so we find some super old used porns on VHS and go to check out while in line theres a black dude standing behind us who we bothignore but Klondike was like making these aweful jokes about the fat guys behind the counter and the face the one was making ...the black guy was cracking up ...have to admit it was funny ... so then she starts talking to the black guy now impaying attention and apparently this guy was shy as hell ... what kind of a shy person goes to a porno store to watch porn in a booth and is shy??? like seriouslt wouldnt you buy your porn then take it home ... anyway yeah so she def tells him how shes gay and then he gets all excited looking in his eyes (eww no) and so then hes like yeah i like lesbians and I was like yeah I'm like her boys are icky and then hes like so ya'll together and I was like if you want us to be and then walk away after like a few minutes she says (fairly loud) Whould you have sex with a boy?!? at which point I swear if he wasn't black he would have blushed and then walked away out of embarresment ...I walked over next to her and then he came back and was like trying to be gangsta tough guy about stuff (total sign that hes probably thoguht aboutit or HAS done it) so yeah then we left (I swear it took us like a half hour to check out) anyway then it was time to go home so I was like yeah my car is off of snoopys birds block (woodstock rd) ... yea well we totally couldnt find it .. and we walked around the block about 9483567384568346587534 times before finding the car... so i dropped her off at the train station and went home ... end of the day?? HA not so much
So when i get home my friend Becca was like lets go out to eat so we went to nifty fifties ... and we go spicy chicken nuggets fries and a milk shake ... the fries were NASTY but the milkshake was awesome ... yeah and thats all I have to say about her ... then I cam home and nicole IMed me SHOCKING here is a taste of her stupidity ..like how cna you not tell im NOT interested (and yes I altered the SN)
Nicky: yo whats up
Me: nm I was like 10 min from Windgap today at the Palmer Park mall
Nicky: so why didn't u let me know
Me: I assumed you were at work
Nicky: what were u doing there
Me: it was from 11am to 1 pm
Nicky: yeah i was in work
Me: I was meeting my friend I was at her house like forever ago and left my coat there a so we met half way and that happened to be easton
Nicky: damn that sux
Me: yeah ...
Me: my friend told me her car almost blew over in wind gap
Me: it was so windy
Nicky: you shoulda called i woulda left work
Nicky: yeah i was in wind gap today it is windy
Me: sorry ... I just didn't think that you would like to be called when at work ya know
Nicky: i woulda loved to be called give me an excuse to get outta there
Me:sorry ... next time I'm up there to visit my friend I'll call you outta work
Nicky: when u comin to visit me
Me: ugh... i dunno ... next time I can grab my friends couch
Nicky: u can grab my bed haha
Me: haha yeah....
Nicky: yeah so why dont ya
Nicky: then i can do ya right
Me: ya umm.... red rivers are flowing
Nicky: eww say no more
Me: and also I dunno if I just wanna meet up JUST to have sex thats just not ...my thing
Nicky: that takes the fun out of it
Nicky: i have a girl i just wanna fuck you
Me: .... ok
Nicky: so when u comin
Me: hmm ...
Nicky: im getting u out here again soon
and then she continued to try and convince me to come out to her ..haha nope... then I went invisible and finished writing this blog ... woah have fun reading.... I expect lots of comments b.c its like super long you have to have at least 2 comments
Ok.. see im not nuts? freggin Wind Gap was goddamn windy holy irony! and that lil hybrid.. let me tell you.. and wow nichole is a total skank.. and why a porn store? and john got eaten by the toilet? hah nice.. and yeah dude.. just ask someone about br's! lol.. umm... uhhh.. that guy sounded like a turd.. fuck.. i am so not interesting right now.. sorry.. but this is highly amusing non the less.. and im glad im not the only one with gps probs
ReplyDeleteIt was windy in wind gap. lol.
ReplyDeleteAhaha, okay, so.. as I was reading, I kept randomly chuckling at the funny parts, which was like.. every other sentence! And Kash kept looking at me going 'what?' and I'd be like 'nothing, just Jax's blog' lol.
ReplyDeleteI definitely like your rendition of the trip better than Karin's (sorry Kare) lol, but Jax ALWAYS has a way to make things funny.
Next time you go on a trip, cut back on the fluids!
Oh, and tell Nicole to fuck off.