Say hello in a sexy morning voice

So going to bed at 12:03 this morning I was looking foward to getting up at 4:30 (groan.... yeah 4.5 hours later) However Ms I'm not getting outta bed woke me up at 4:06...so will a little less than 4 hours of sleep I had to begin making my drive down home. After waking up Iwas thinking I need to pee but of course Karin had no TP in her bathroom (BITCH!) I figured that I would stop somewhere and pee and get breakfast. I began my drive by rockin' along to some rap on the radio, I then realized that my skin is white so changed the channel . Which meant me jamming to some christmas songs, realizing that I was Jewish and probably making god mad I changed the radio station. So anyway about an hour later I couldn't resist the urge to pee any longer. I stopped in some small town called "Wind Gap" what an absolute shithole. There was a sign on te road advertising a 24 hour McDonalds of course I was like hell yeahz!!! so getting off the road I totally didn't go over to the right far enough and was definitly driving into on coming traffic. some guy actually drove right by me as I was on the wrong side of the road not honking or caring what-so-ever. So either this guy was also as confused as I was with the road ways or just didn't give a shit. Anyway as I drove past the "24 hour Mc Donalds" I realized they were def closed (assholes!) I continued down the road and found this Gulf gas station. Upon stopping my first thought was "I NEED TO PEE!" SO I went ot the bathroom were I found that there was NO TP!!!! AGHHHHH WTF is my home the only one in PA that has more than roll of TP??? Seriously its recockulous! Anyway I told the lady at the counter who then over reacted and frantically ran around the store questioning what she should do to rectify the situation. Eventually the woman found a roll allowing me to finally (happily) pee. anyway I left the station and made sure to absolutly go all the way to the right this time. I then continued my drive, Inoticed that I had at some point passed my favorite health food store in the whole world meaning that the gun store where I get my guns was just down the road (it was but unfortunatly it was to early and it wasn't open :( :( triple :( ) anyway the rest of the drive was uneventful. When I got homemy mom tld me about some greatguy she set me up with on some online dating website ... I think I'll answer him and tell him I'm a 300 pound whale and I eat one meal a day ALL DA the healthiest meal I ever had was the day I ate potato chips ALL DAY.